You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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