yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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