Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
