The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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