this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
