You're so nebulous sometimes
I cockslap morals
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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