i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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