I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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