So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
