Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
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.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
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I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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