good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Holy sore nipples Batman
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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