so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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