Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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