a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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