I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm too high and old for this...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
