I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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