I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
