my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
