the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
