is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
