Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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