I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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