Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
