There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
