The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
