They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
