They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
