Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
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