I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize