Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
