slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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