That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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