he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
