Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
