Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
