then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
