i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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