U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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