We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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