so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
