I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
