do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
