I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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