how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
