I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
