I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
