And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
