you win again, gameday.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
