Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
