i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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