and she was petting her beer can
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize