I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
