BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
