I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wish I only lived at night.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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