You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
