i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
