I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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