they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
