Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
