This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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