How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
