They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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